The Noisy American

Fond Memories of Christmas...

At JCPenney Outlet Stores

Walmart Shoppers Video

Merry Xmas Y'all!

Best Named Band

The Foxymorons, and that's all I know about them.

Master

Ok, now I'm officially not cool. 

How Many Kansans?

Q: How many Kansans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Four. One to question the validity of the science regarding electricity. One to draw up a document stating that electricity must be taught alongside the philosophy of “Intelligent God Power” to explain how the lightbulb works. One to pray for the power to come on once the lightbulb is in. And one to call somebody from a Democratic state to actually screw the thing in.

Found at Flaregun

Thanksgiving

Well, Thanksgiving has come and gone.  And I'm about 20 pounds heavier than I was two weeks ago.  This is actually the first time I've celebrated Thanksgiving since I was in the States one November about 7 or 8 years ago, though my boss in Taiwan once made turkey and mashed potatoes for us one day at work.  But, I think that I've made up for it this year, having gone to both a Canadian meal a couple of weeks ago and an American one yesterday.  Both times eating as though I hadn't eaten in months.  I ate enough to make myself feel a bit ill yesterday, it was a total carbfest and my body really doesn't like carbs too much.  At the time, though, it was just so good.

I'm thankful that:

I was born in America,
I don't live there now,
I have some great friends scattered round the globe,
I'm pretty healthy considering the punishment I've inflicted on my body,
I'm making money for the first time in my life,
I have a four day weekend next week and a three week holiday in January,
I've visited 12% of the world,
You're reading this now.

I could probably think up a lot more, but I'm feeling a bit sappy as it is.

Notice I didn't say anything about genocide.  Trying to be a bit less cynical.  But, if you do want to know the true story of Thanksgiving, check out Lies My Teacher Told Me.  Brillant book!

What I'm Listening to...

My 80's phase has passed, thankfully, though it was actually nice to get reacquainted with the Pixies, the Smiths and Kate Bush.  Speaking of Kate Bush, she's put out a new CD, Aerial.  It's the first one in about ten years and while it's not amazing, it's definitely worth listening to, and definitely better than Red Shoes.   

Amazing are The Decemberists.  I love this band.  Kind of like a Bertolt Brecht for the 21st century.  The new CD is Picturesque. Their songs are moody and dramatic, often evocative of earlier times and other lands.  But they are also full of catchy hooks and gorgeous melodies.  But what really sets them apart are the lyrics.  They are essentially storytellers with songs about impossible love, wronged women, murderous mariners and male prostitutes.  Buy it now!  For those of you who like to have a listen before buying, I'd recommend The Engine Driver.  If that doesn't convince you to go out and buy it, then forget it, you have no soul.  Sample lyrices:

You had a charming air
All cheap and debonair
My widowed mother found so sweet
And so she took you in

Her sheets still warm with him
Now filled with filth and foul disease
As time wore on you proved
A debt-ridden drunken mess
Leaving my mother A poor consumptive wretch

A few more worth mentioning:  Fiona Apple - Extraordinary Machine, I'm a little bit country, I'm a little bit rock and roll, I'm even a bit hip hop.  She's got an amazing voice and she wraps it around these differing genres with style and flair.

Andrew Bird - The Mysterious Production of Eggs, Singer, songwriter, violinist, guitar player and great whistler.  He creates a unique sound - sorta popish, but with much more depth, touch of country, a bit ambient.  Quite good.

Surprisingly enough, I was introduced to the White Stripes and I think they're great.  I've heard a few of their songs in passing and they just sounded loud.  But, I caught a video on MTV of Doorknob and the songs quite interesting, catchy.  A few days later, a friend of mine played the CD on a trip to Dubai and I was hooked.  Really catchy, clever lyrics and a simple pounding drum sound.

Still listening to Sufjan Stevens - Illinois and Greetings from Michigan.  I love (I know I overuse that word) Illinois.  What a great album, alternatively dark and light. modern country with bells and whistles and a bit of Simon and Garfunkel thrown in for good measure.   The song about John Wayne Gacy makes me wanna cry.  If you haven't heard it, I highly recommend it.  One of the most unique productions around today. 

I was introduced to The Decemberists and Fiona Apple by PlanetDan who has a very nice jukebox on his website.  It's worth checking out.

Now for the really exciting news, I signed up for Pandora Radio last night.  It's a very cool site and a great way to hear new music.  You choose the bands/singers that you like and then Pandora creates a songlist for you of other bands/singers you might like.  If you particularly like one song that you hear, you can add them to your list.  I've already heard quite a few new songs that I like.

Until I Find You - John Irving

John Irving is one of my favorite authors.  I’ve read all of his novels, some of them two or three times, something I almost never do.  My favorite is probably The Cider House Rules, though I also quite like The World According to Garp, Widow for A Year and A Prayer for Owen Meany.  He is able to create a world inhabited by quirky, and sometimes unbelievable characters that he somehow breathes life into.  His novels are humorous and tragic, life affirming and emotionally draining.  He writes about subjects that other authors don’t even begin to examine – rape, incest, sexual abuse, and abortion among others, presenting them as slices of life instead of deviations from the norm.   

Until I find You has all the elements of other Irving novels, dysfunctional sexual relationships, fatherless children, prostitutes, and a slew of eccentric characters, but unfortunately, he just doesn’t succeed in making any of it seem plausible, nor entertaining.  In some ways, it seems he tacks things into the book just to add a bit of a shock factor.  It’s an incredibly long (820 pages) and cumbersome bore.  I don’t mind a long book.  In fact I prefer long rambling sagas that can keep me involved for days or weeks at a time, but in this case, I was wishing it were about ½ the size.

At the center of the book is a pen*s, an appendage that is neither extraordinary (in fact, it’s on the “smallish side”), nor particularly interesting (it doesn’t have much of an opinion on anything).  You’d think that a book featuring a pen*s as its protagonist might be very sensual.  And while there is plenty of sex, there is very little passion.  The only sexual (and loving?) relationship in the book concerns two lesbian women and is characterized by infidelity, and is a result of turning away from men as opposed to turning towards a lover.  Attached to the pen*s is Jack Burns, an actor with nary an ounce of humanity.  Unlike other of Irving’s characters, even the more unlovable ones, I was unable to connect with Burns in any manner.  He is a man without a soul, it being stolen from him in his childhood.  The novel is about Burns’ search for his father, but ultimately it is a search for himself, or perhaps his pen*s. 

Until I find You is written in three parts.  The first part is a remembered i.e. fictional account of the pen*s and it’s mother searching for the father around the North Sea of Europe.  The father, William, is a ‘collector’ of tattoos – a person who covers his entire body in tats (in this case, music), a playboy and a famous organist (a variation on the pen*s theme).  He acquires a new tattoo in every city and leaves another broken heart (or two).  His mother is a tattoo artist, apparently wronged by William.  A long segment of the book is spent in the brothels of Amsterdam (one of Irving’s favorite locales) where the pen*s is babysat by various prostitutes. 

In part two of the book, the pen*s is located in an almost all-girls school in Toronto where it attracts a disproportionate amount of attention from women, young and old.  It undergoes playful teasing, sexual abuse and plenty of holding positions.  It is here, as well, where the book becomes not only far-fetched, but completely unhinged.  But, it is also in this section where the only sympathetic character is introduced, Emma, an older girl with a mustache who befriends the Pen*s.  Thru a series of events, the Pen*s eventually lands in Hollywood. 

The third portion concludes Jack's search for ‘truth’, thru a reenactment of the initial trip, re-introduced characters and psychoanalysis. 

It’s not that the entire book is terrible.  Once again, Irving introduces some very memorable characters and there are parts of the story that I enjoyed.  Particularly enjoyable is Oscar night and the sequences with Claudia.  But, overall, I found it pretty tedious and totally implausible.  With better editing, I think it might have been an interesting read, but at 820 pages, it’s far too ponderous. 

If you are already an Irving fan, go back and read A Prayer for Owen Meany or The Cider House Rules again.  If you have never read any Irving, I wouldn’t recommend starting with this one.

Harry...and Ron?

The Soup uncovers a different side to Harry Potter.  See it on the Malcontent.

Quote of the Day

Makes me want to fucking cry.
-Andrew Sullivan on interrogation techniques used by the CIA to extract information.

Sexy